Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Better luck next time
It's not looking good. Doctor is not optimistic. Says my blood work was good before. Must go for another blood work. I hate needles. Three blood works. Lvls could go up and pregnacy to proceed but it may be gone and lvls go down. Or it could go really bad go sideways and lvl and they have to do stuff to scrap out the remaining stuff so it's not ectopic pregnancy and harm me. Possibly. Oh god please don't be ectopic .
High risk
So I'm almost 35 and that is considered high risk for women who are pregnant. I'm a worry wart by nature and read up on every side effect which is prolly bad. I google everyday and sometimes it's helpful and other times it's scary. I have the what to expect when expecting on my nook and a paper copy of your pregnacy week by week. The latter is very scary as it constantly talks about risks and how they are scary but I new to know.
Monday I started the "spotting" and Tuesday it looked more like a period. Tuesday night I didn't make it through my shift. I had started cramping mid day at app and it just got worse as I walked around putting away reshelves at Bn. I had to go home. Cramps went away that night and I haven't seen anything bad this morning, but I'm still scared. Chris took away my book and my nook last night so I wouldn't read anymore and continue to upset myself.
The book did say to call doctor if I saw blood. So I called when the office opened and went to the doctor. Currently I'm waiting in the packed office.
Ido t
Tuesday, July 8, 2014
I need a worry doll
I have so many worries about this pregnancy that I hope that doesn't damage my chance of healthy pregnancy.
I want to skate still, but I can't do contact. I haven't told my league yet, just the coaches, the board and one who hasn't been to practice in a long time. I think gossip is filtering around while I dither.
I skipped a few practices and then one sunday sat out saying I had allergies bad, but came anyway. Sitting out is horrible. I need a purpose next time. Not to keen on NSOing, I want to stay on my skates. Doctor M said I can skate around, but no contact sports. Preggos need exercise too, but I should only exercise for half hour at a time cause my core temp shouldn't raise too much and it's been freakin hot outside. I don't want to overheat.
I'm worried that the yummy gin and oysters I had three days before I took my test will harm the development of my baby, but Chris says that I'm worrying too much and that it was too soon. Oh and I had a beer after the game.
Now I'm worried about spotting. I don't want the pregnancy to go away. I want a baby. We picked out names that I'm not telling anyone cause our top name was taken by someone who had her baby first and even used the nickname I considered before Chris shot it down ( the nickname, not the name or the baby of course).
I have to tell my dad still. Wanted to tell him in person, but it doesn't look like he can afford to visit this summer. I should totally tell him soon.
I haven't had any real morning sickness, don't want it either. But did feel all around sick for a week.
And that melt down/breakdown I had a week before I took my first test, I'm not sure if that was part of it.
I wonder what food I'm gonna crave or despise.
I can't eat marshmallows that are roasted anymore. I got sick on them both times I had them last week and this week.
I love sweet potato rolls, but I don't think that's a craving, that's just me and wanting to have sweet potato rolls.
I miss sushi and wine already. And Guinness ...the beer and the hot derby chick.
I want to skate still, but I can't do contact. I haven't told my league yet, just the coaches, the board and one who hasn't been to practice in a long time. I think gossip is filtering around while I dither.
I skipped a few practices and then one sunday sat out saying I had allergies bad, but came anyway. Sitting out is horrible. I need a purpose next time. Not to keen on NSOing, I want to stay on my skates. Doctor M said I can skate around, but no contact sports. Preggos need exercise too, but I should only exercise for half hour at a time cause my core temp shouldn't raise too much and it's been freakin hot outside. I don't want to overheat.
I'm worried that the yummy gin and oysters I had three days before I took my test will harm the development of my baby, but Chris says that I'm worrying too much and that it was too soon. Oh and I had a beer after the game.
Now I'm worried about spotting. I don't want the pregnancy to go away. I want a baby. We picked out names that I'm not telling anyone cause our top name was taken by someone who had her baby first and even used the nickname I considered before Chris shot it down ( the nickname, not the name or the baby of course).
I have to tell my dad still. Wanted to tell him in person, but it doesn't look like he can afford to visit this summer. I should totally tell him soon.
I haven't had any real morning sickness, don't want it either. But did feel all around sick for a week.
And that melt down/breakdown I had a week before I took my first test, I'm not sure if that was part of it.
I wonder what food I'm gonna crave or despise.
I can't eat marshmallows that are roasted anymore. I got sick on them both times I had them last week and this week.
I love sweet potato rolls, but I don't think that's a craving, that's just me and wanting to have sweet potato rolls.
I miss sushi and wine already. And Guinness ...the beer and the hot derby chick.
Obgyn ugness
Next step in my first ever pregnancy, schedule a doctors visit.
Reading my Pregnancy book is scary. I need a doctor to cool me down and give me logic.
I had tweeted my bfpness the day I took my test, feeling no one really reads my tweets. Well Juicy and Malaya do, but who knows, maybe they don't know what my cryptic post is.....wrong! Doll's all, "Wait...What?!?" so I told her I was pretty sure it's true.
Reading my Pregnancy book is scary. I need a doctor to cool me down and give me logic.
I had tweeted my bfpness the day I took my test, feeling no one really reads my tweets. Well Juicy and Malaya do, but who knows, maybe they don't know what my cryptic post is.....wrong! Doll's all, "Wait...What?!?" so I told her I was pretty sure it's true.
But I needed to tell her anyway so that she can take me off the roster for the next game (no derby!!!! wahhhhhhh!) I've only missed two games and one I NSO'd cause I got back from my honeymoon in time.
So Malaya recommended a good office where she knows a lot of her friends go and sent me a pic of the business card, which I promptly researched.
I also asked my sister who her doctor was and then made an appointment with her doctor for the soonest I could get away from work. Waiting those two weeks was torture. I spoke to one of my pregnant coworkers and told her I just found out I was pregnant , but I didn't want to tell my managers yet. She told me she didn't say anything until her third month when it was pretty obvious after all the appointments. I managed to only tell one coworker (because she was alone with me in the kitchen area). My book said it is wise to tell your boss before the entire office and my preggo pal agreed.
I told me coworkers I had a doctor appt to go to my lady doctor for an annual, which was what I was doing, but not really why. Ugh, btw, ugh. I hate that experience. Although, I do like this doctor better than the lady I used to go to. He doesn't look me in the eye, the nurse talks to me, and the doctor never stares at me waiting for me to continue my story about how I found out I was pregnant while he adjusts his tool. Ugh she might have thought she was being friendly , but don't make eye contact while you do that stuff. Sooooo glad he doesn't do that.
Soooo after I got back from the appointment I managed to tell both my managers away from the call center without asking to have a private word. Now the next step is to tell everyone on my team. I think I'll do that by showing them the sonogram that I will have done next week.
So Malaya recommended a good office where she knows a lot of her friends go and sent me a pic of the business card, which I promptly researched.
I also asked my sister who her doctor was and then made an appointment with her doctor for the soonest I could get away from work. Waiting those two weeks was torture. I spoke to one of my pregnant coworkers and told her I just found out I was pregnant , but I didn't want to tell my managers yet. She told me she didn't say anything until her third month when it was pretty obvious after all the appointments. I managed to only tell one coworker (because she was alone with me in the kitchen area). My book said it is wise to tell your boss before the entire office and my preggo pal agreed.
I told me coworkers I had a doctor appt to go to my lady doctor for an annual, which was what I was doing, but not really why. Ugh, btw, ugh. I hate that experience. Although, I do like this doctor better than the lady I used to go to. He doesn't look me in the eye, the nurse talks to me, and the doctor never stares at me waiting for me to continue my story about how I found out I was pregnant while he adjusts his tool. Ugh she might have thought she was being friendly , but don't make eye contact while you do that stuff. Sooooo glad he doesn't do that.
Soooo after I got back from the appointment I managed to tell both my managers away from the call center without asking to have a private word. Now the next step is to tell everyone on my team. I think I'll do that by showing them the sonogram that I will have done next week.
Big Fat Pregnant
I'm going to start a little further back than I need to here to explain some things (or just ramble and end up not explaining, but giving some details anyways).
I started having some problems remembering my work schedule. Forgetting I have to work BN after APP has happened before , but not three times in one month. My awesome MOD was all, "something must be up" because I rarely forget my schedule or call out. I think I may have had two or three sick days there in four years. (omg, has it really been that long?...maybe longer...I hate math.) So May is trucking along with Chris's bday, steampunk world faire and my first derby convention in Rhode Island. June hits and I'm getting ready for our derby game at home. Modeled my new derby shorts and moaned about how if I didn't have the right leggings on to suck my gut in then I'd look preggers.
This now gets me thinking. I hate keeping track of my monthly time or even talking about it and I'm trying to think when it's coming next. I pray that it doesn't come in time for the game, that would suck in my red hot short shorts. Sometimes I'm at the bottom of the month and sometimes at the top, depending on the season or whenever mother up above decides to spring it on me, but I can't recall having it during any of my events in May where I definitely would have been bummed if it came and ruined my fun.
So I decided I wanted to be excited and scared at the same time and made the decision to buy a pregnancy test to find out for sure if something was going on inside of me. I had one last sushi night with the B's (Brandi and Ben) and went to work the next day with the intention of purchasing a test at break time. I asked Jen if she would like to take a trip to Walgreens with me and after she stopped freaking out with happiness she agreed......but then had a meeting to attend, so I went alone. After trying to figure out what aisle the test would be in (where is that damn pee stick!) I found them under lock and key and progressively expensive. There was a button to call for service, but that seemed embarrassing so I found a lady shelving and asked her to unlock the case for me. (I all but whispered this to her and she kindly followed suit and rang me up at cosmetics.) I wanted to take the test there, but didn't want to be weird and walk to the back of the store with it, and instead of waiting till later to take the test , I drove around trying to think of where to use the restroom cause I was not taking the test in the bathroom at work....too many people coming and going and chatting. I finally settled on quick check and took the test. BFP. I was worried that I let it stay in the stream too long, but I really had to go! I could see one strong line and then waiting the required time and saw a faint line. BFP. Two lines even if one is faint is preggers.
I read the instructions for the third time as someone knocked on the door and decided that maybe 3pm wasn't a good time to test as the instructions recommended early morning for the hormone levels to be optimum. I really wanted to try again in the morning, but waited a week to try again. The second line was darker now. BFP.
Of course I texted a picture of the stick both times to my sister who practically squealed with happiness to finally become an aunt.
I think I told Chris the day after I found out. With our work schedules and sleep schedules I wanted to make sure that I told him in person, but I had to ask him to wake me up in the morning before he left for work. He was very excited and kissed me lots and told me he loves me. I love his reaction.
I didn't really want to tell many people yet. The feeling inside me was, maybe it's not true and I'm going to then have to tell people that it was a false alarm. But just in case, I bought a book....and my old head cashier who works at a different store now saw me in the section, so he knew, and so did Holly by extension.
I started letting the people who always seem to be at me for when are we going to have a baby guess that yes I am pregnant. Well, at BN anyways. I told a couple managers, endured perfumed hugs and excitement.
Telling people is fun, but I don't want to get carried away, just in case.
I started having some problems remembering my work schedule. Forgetting I have to work BN after APP has happened before , but not three times in one month. My awesome MOD was all, "something must be up" because I rarely forget my schedule or call out. I think I may have had two or three sick days there in four years. (omg, has it really been that long?...maybe longer...I hate math.) So May is trucking along with Chris's bday, steampunk world faire and my first derby convention in Rhode Island. June hits and I'm getting ready for our derby game at home. Modeled my new derby shorts and moaned about how if I didn't have the right leggings on to suck my gut in then I'd look preggers.
This now gets me thinking. I hate keeping track of my monthly time or even talking about it and I'm trying to think when it's coming next. I pray that it doesn't come in time for the game, that would suck in my red hot short shorts. Sometimes I'm at the bottom of the month and sometimes at the top, depending on the season or whenever mother up above decides to spring it on me, but I can't recall having it during any of my events in May where I definitely would have been bummed if it came and ruined my fun.
So I decided I wanted to be excited and scared at the same time and made the decision to buy a pregnancy test to find out for sure if something was going on inside of me. I had one last sushi night with the B's (Brandi and Ben) and went to work the next day with the intention of purchasing a test at break time. I asked Jen if she would like to take a trip to Walgreens with me and after she stopped freaking out with happiness she agreed......but then had a meeting to attend, so I went alone. After trying to figure out what aisle the test would be in (where is that damn pee stick!) I found them under lock and key and progressively expensive. There was a button to call for service, but that seemed embarrassing so I found a lady shelving and asked her to unlock the case for me. (I all but whispered this to her and she kindly followed suit and rang me up at cosmetics.) I wanted to take the test there, but didn't want to be weird and walk to the back of the store with it, and instead of waiting till later to take the test , I drove around trying to think of where to use the restroom cause I was not taking the test in the bathroom at work....too many people coming and going and chatting. I finally settled on quick check and took the test. BFP. I was worried that I let it stay in the stream too long, but I really had to go! I could see one strong line and then waiting the required time and saw a faint line. BFP. Two lines even if one is faint is preggers.
I read the instructions for the third time as someone knocked on the door and decided that maybe 3pm wasn't a good time to test as the instructions recommended early morning for the hormone levels to be optimum. I really wanted to try again in the morning, but waited a week to try again. The second line was darker now. BFP.
Of course I texted a picture of the stick both times to my sister who practically squealed with happiness to finally become an aunt.
I think I told Chris the day after I found out. With our work schedules and sleep schedules I wanted to make sure that I told him in person, but I had to ask him to wake me up in the morning before he left for work. He was very excited and kissed me lots and told me he loves me. I love his reaction.
I didn't really want to tell many people yet. The feeling inside me was, maybe it's not true and I'm going to then have to tell people that it was a false alarm. But just in case, I bought a book....and my old head cashier who works at a different store now saw me in the section, so he knew, and so did Holly by extension.
I started letting the people who always seem to be at me for when are we going to have a baby guess that yes I am pregnant. Well, at BN anyways. I told a couple managers, endured perfumed hugs and excitement.
Telling people is fun, but I don't want to get carried away, just in case.
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